My Personal Journey to Contentment

Out of my 42 years on this Earth, there are 3 questions I've always been asking myself: Why do people hurt other people (whether intentionally or unintentionally)? Why are they more bad leaders than good leaders? The biggest question I've asked myself: Why am I not satisfied where I am? That last one was a doozy for me.

You see, I've worked in the non-profit industry since 2002 and, in the beginning, it was a major culture shock. The pace was much slower than I was used to, the responses back from colleagues on certain projects was pretty nonchalant and the demand for more work from me as well as less pay didn't help matters much. Nonetheless, I was willing to do the work and to see how far I can go. My specific area was fundraising and development (mostly database management and prospect research). Thirteen years later, I’m right back where I've started. This time, with a different attitude and a different perspective.

Out of my thirteen year career, I've obtained 4 full-time positions, 1 part-time position, 6 temp jobs and 1 volunteer job. Yes, that is a lot. However, it was because I wasn't satisfied and I've hopped from job to job. With each job, I've obtained more experiences with each position and greatly increased my salary along the way. I couldn't shake this feeling that I could be so much more and go so much further than where I was. I thought back then I wasn't given the opportunity it achieve this goal. Whether it was the organizations I've worked for, my race or my gender – I felt that I wasn't given an opportunity to shine! Truth be told, the only one that was holding me back was ME! I’m sure there were opportunities that I didn't recognize as opportunities to advance my career, but missed the mark.

The greatest wake-up call was when I moved to Georgia last year. I thought with my experience, I could get a job in no time. Wrong! It took me over three months to find a job and that wasn't a walk in the park either! I lived in a small town an hour away from Atlanta. I had no car and there was no public transportation to get around. The jobs in my town were mostly manufacturing and retail jobs. So ultimately, I ended up getting a retail job at Goodwill. For six and a half months, I've worked my behind off, being on my feet all day (and sometimes nights), dealing with donors, working in unhealthy conditions for $7.35 an hour! That’s a far cry from the $55,000 a year from my last full-time job! Yes, I did get a $.25 increase before I left. Whoo-Hoo! *eye roll* The point is that this experience has given me the appreciation of the work I was not satisfied with previously. I realized that my non-profit work was important and, most of all, that I really do like what I do. I do like researching prospective donors for organizations to see if they are a match. I do like organizing and maintaining a database. It’s a shame that I had to hit rock bottom in order to appreciate the work that I do. I don’t know why I felt led to share my story (I’m a minister…I can’t help but to be transparent)! However, I feel that whoever reads this post is probably feeling now the way I've felt back then.

Now I’m back up north and doing temp work again – this time for Yale University. Now I look forward to going to work every day. My current supervisor appreciates my work and, most of all, I can finally say those two words that I have never said: I’m satisfied!

UPDATE - I've written this blog post on my Linkedin page in May 2015. Since this post, I've been hired on a permanent basis in a managerial position with more responsibilty. The Bible says in Philippians 4:11 to be content whatever the circumstances...and I am. However, when God says it's time, I will resume my cake business and take it to the next level!